Tardiff Weekly
John Kerry Secretly Wins Election
What the government doesn’t want you
to know about who really runs the country
What comes at a surprise to you is what many high
government officials actually know. John Kerry secretly runs the country. Officials
Saturday released information that Sen. Kerry has a secret bunker in Bunker
Hill in Boston, Massachusetts near his townhouse, directly
300 ft below Dick Cheney’s. He has a secret “AT&T” phone in which he calls
Bush in Washington D.C. and tells him what to do. A secret
mouth said “It’s all true. And it’s actually been happening sense his
[G.W.B.’s] first term. I don’t know how he convinced him to do it”.
McDonald’s Puts Brain Control Pills
in Burgers
The famed Mickey D’s clown Ronald McDonald won’t be
smiling much longer as a secret source leaked last night that brain controlling
pills that were engineered in Switzerland
get flown in the masses to McDonald headquarters in suburban Illinois. These pills are placed onto the
burger; what you think are shredded onions are actually crushed pills. The
pills are designed to get people fatter and fatter and purchase more burgers on
an impulsive basis.
REMEMBER! Find the secret
circle that looks like this: 
, and send it to us by email for a Special
PRIZE! Send your name and email address to win along with the location of the
circle.
William Taft; Presidential Pimpsta’
“He’s…an…ugly…pimp”
You may have heard facts about William Taft, the fat 27th
president of the United
States. But what you probably haven’t heard
is that he was a fully pimped out pimp. He was known as the “big daddy” of Washington. He had girls
all over the city and the people sometimes would even let them come up to the
White House to have sex in the oval office. Jose Rendregez, son of former White
House guard Carlos Rendregez recalled some stories his father used to tell. “I
recall one time my dad, he told me [Jose Rendregez] about Taft comin’ up with a
girl an’ n’ ugly dog, makin’ some noise and uh a lil’
(mumbles) oh yeah. Pimped”.
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